Concerning my body

I felt so embarrassed when I saw this old man dancing as a muse…

This is just a short entry, but I really can’t go to sleep without saying that I suck at dancing. I came to my house wanting to take a nap, but my mother came and she told me to go with her to aerobics. As you know, I am really trying to spend some quality time with my family, so I said: “yes, why not?”. As we got to the place we were able to have an interesting conversation about me and my plans for the future…. Everything was magical. But, O sorrow on my soul!!!

I heard the sound of that funky music and I saw all of these people dancing and shouting. My mom took her place and told me to do the same. Moreover, I wasn’t wearing my contacts so the instructor looked to me like a blurred stain jumping around. I tried to follow the dance steps… and I failed. I even saw these little girls dancing happily and laughing at my lack of fluency… I felt so stupid. So I started laughing hard at myself. I laughed my shame away. And I tried harder and harder to follow the instructor. For just a second I felt like in a Mr. Bean episode. Acting dumb and not caring about it… Even though I really knew I was looking ridiculous.

Now, this is a good time for a confession. It is not just about dancing. I really suck at anything physical. I was reading about the Multiple Intelligences Theory and I realized that I am very capable at Intrapersonal Intelligence; but I just suck at Bodily Kinesthetic Intelligence. Sometimes I even reflect on the way I am walking, and I realize that I cannot walk full of grace and aesthetic. I can’t hardly swim. I remember when I was around 10 years old. I was at my friend’s party and I was sitting there as everyone else was dancing. So my friend’s mother came to me and said: “Why don’t you dance?” And I was like: “Well, I can only dance rock, not this tropical music” (of course I was convinced I could dance Rock). So then she invited some other kids and told me: “Show us your moves.” I knew there was not escape. So I filled my spirit with courage and I danced. After only a few seconds, I realized they were laughing at me. They weren’t happy because of my moves. They were just laughing at me. O sorrow on my soul!!

After that I only tried two or three times, and it was always a failure. Since I became a Christian, I knew I didn’t have to dance anymore (How I love Christianity!). Now, I do the Japanese dance when the opportunity shows. I just move in a stupid way and everyone laughs, not at me, but with me.

These are good days. Life is beautiful, but I’ll only “dance” with those who love me for who I am, not for what I do.